HA! Live Blogging the KCA

So yeah. I did it, I tried out live blogging. And I wasn’t so great at it. Why? I turned into a 12 year old viewer with way too much knowledge about Nickelodeon (favorite hosts = Mike Myers & Cameron Diaz). To spare myself (and you) the full embarrassment of live blogging riches, I shall only skim the highlights:

The best moments go as follow:

a. Brendan Frasier’s faux-excited face in the crowd (and props later on with the mic + slime effect… funny).

b. The piñata destruction by Emile Hirsch for the award of Best Music Group (Jonas Bros)—seriously, I want a piñata and a guitar to bash it with at my birthday this year. Props to him for the bashing-enthusiasm too.

c. James Marsden. James Marsden. James Marsden. Sorry, Hayden P—but you were upstaged by Enchanted‘s Prince Edward. Why didn’t Cyclops get a bigger role in the X-Men movies? It’s certainly not because of Mr. Marsden. Le sigh dreamily.

d. I can’t WAIT for Indiana Jones. And Harrison Ford & Shia Lebeouf’s skit was cute. The mere fact that Harrison was slimed? That’s priceless. Yes, I said slimed, but better: HE…LICKED…IT. Yes. Harrison Ford LICKED the slime. I love him. Points to him.

e. I’ve got to say– The Naked Brothers Band? That’s IMPRESSIVE. How old are they and they’re playing LIVE? Take a lesson all you pop-tart lip syncers. Well done, Nat & Alex.

f. Cameron Diaz’s speech was great (she and I have similar flustered, talk-to-fast, tangent-fueled, sporadic-energy speaking styles)—I shouted “WE ARE THE FUTURE AND THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT!” did you? And it’s nice to see ONE actress there who has nothing to promote (well, that could be argued since she is her own brand, but let’s not go there). Woot for kids and trying to be a role model/hero.

g. WHOA WHOA WHOA– Orlando Bloom’s surprise appearance! Wa-oot. It should forever be mandated that he is to call everyone “Jack”—this is law. Anyone else looking forward to a Pirates 4? I certainly am now!

2. Things I wish would have happened instead:

a. Better opening song (more crowd interaction with explosions, etc throughout). This fell flat – either the song was not the right choice for the crowd, or it was too loud in the stadium for the song to matter (or make sense to younger ears). It was very “meh”

b. The god’s that be in Nickelodeon need some serious slime education. When at KCA if someone mentions they don’t want to be slimed– THEY SHOULD BY KCA LAW BE SLIMED. Case in point: MILEY CYRUS was dressed to go clubbing. WHO DRESSES TO GO CLUBBING AT KCA? It’s Nickelodeon people. Never turn your back on a kid with a mud pie. Never turn your back at a slime-fueled Kids Choice awards. Apparently people have forgotten such a rule. I’m sorry Miley, but you should have gotten slimed for simply SAYING that you didn’t want to be slimed. It’s like going to Wonka’s factory and saying you don’t want candy. Tut tut.

c. Yes– we know most of the actors, shows, and movies displayed are sponsored by marketing dollars & promo spots for upcoming movies/CD’s (thank you Janet Jackson), but seriously… what happened to the KIDS part of KIDS CHOICE AWARDS? Say what you want about Rosie O’Donnell, but as a KCA host she was ALWAYS great about workin’ kids into the event. 5 seconds of face-full but nameless fame! Give kids a thrill at their own awards show. There’s an entire crowd of kids there– why is Usher’s bored face popping up every three seconds? And props to the announcer for calling Usher out with his texting. Nice.

d. I’m sorry… but WHAT? Alvin BEAT Captain Sparrow in the Best Movie category? I call foul! Either that or someone just spent a lot of money paying folks to “vote” since the AaTC DVD just came out.

*Update: Apparently I’m wrong.  My co-workers disagree about my alvin/sparrow theory.  They said their kids LOVED AaTC, and were freaked by Pirates.  I still hold a bit of being skeptical, but whatever.

e. I’d like to see MORE SLIMING OF CELEBRITIES AS A SURPRISE… Seriously, they should know and come prepared. They’re all sitting with smiles and bored eyes– SLIME THEM. Let the kids pick up a hose and SLIME them. I would. TAKE THAT AND THAT! Heh heh heh. What?

And Last But Not least… Here were my live blogging thoughts regarding the grand finale:

  • Jack & his slime meter. 27 tons? TWENTY SEVEN TONS? That’s a load of slime!
  • OOO WHAT CELEB ARE THEY GOING TO SLIME?
  • ORLANDO BLOOM!!!!!!!!! HE’S THERE? OMG, I’m such a screaming girl right now. I’m like 12 all over again. Why do I find this so giddy exciting?
  • Those chairs are a bit electric-chairish, yeah? Interesting concept? They better get BUCKET slimed– like the giant water bucket at Magic Waters or something.
  • YOU CAN DO IT, ORLANDO. I SAW JOHNNY GET SLIMED A FEW YEARS BACK, AND NOW THE TORCH HAS PASSED.
  • 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. SLIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wait, what? Nothing happened. Something about it not working…
  • Why is it when Orlando says Mr. Black’s name I’m waiting for Captain Sparrow to pop up? 🙂
  • OH! Okay, so it’s a cute little gag with the Octopus mascot guy to get the kids pumped about the sliming. Wow, i fell for that.
  • And now the slime comes, and comes, and comes… Except– regardless of the length of time, it doesn’t really seem like 27 tons worth, does it?
  • Well, at least the slime is still coming, ish. They’re just sitting there. Boo. There’s no excitement in watching them in chairs like this… Even Flash Dance does this better and that’s with water.
  • Where’s the big bang ending? I want confetti! I want slime hoses! I want Orlando cowering in fear of over-sliming!!!
  • Well, credits are rolling. Despite the lack luster slime ending, it was a solid show. Sigh… and another KCA is finished. Next year I’m SO THERE. Can bystanders bring SUPER SOAKERS next year? Hmmm.

Props to the winners. Especially Drake & Josh. They seem to be the only ones there without an Agenda– do they even have another season coming? Drake just stared in the not-for-kids movie Not Another Super Hero Movie, or whatever it’s called. Josh Peck looks great– he has to have lost SO much weight now, he’s so grown up (except something was wrong with his suspenders). And HELLO DRAKE… when did he turn into Ewan McGregor?

And final props to Jack Black’s spandex. I’m speechless and impressed.

Don’t be surprised to see any shameless pleas for tickets next year. Selling my first born to Gypsies for tickets is a last resort people.

HAPPY MONDAY!

p.s. Did anyone participate in the Earth Hour event on Sat? I was surprised that KCA didn’t change times– since it TOO was at 8 pm on Sat. Viacom does a decent effort at times trying to stay “green” – and KCA had a “green” stage, etc.

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