Digital Kids and 2013 Predictions
I am excited to be involved in this years Digital Kids Conference as an emcee for the first day's talks. It's collocated with Toy Fair again in NYC, so we should have a nice crowd. Tonda, Chris and crew are promoting on the regular social channels - Facebook, Twitter, etc.
There is also an affiliated Digital Kids Safety Summi…
An Izzy-torial: ADD N Me
So, recently I’ve been experiencing moments of mental “fubar”-ness. There’s rhyme and there’s reason for it, and it goes well beyond what I chose to discuss today [there's a time and place to discuss heartache, personal frustration, and bereavement - and its called 'vague facebook statuses' Lolzerbot]. But, I digress…
In my attempts to logically understand some of the chaos I’m trying to sort through in my brain, I’ve come back to a small nugget of a “disability” (and I use that term lightly, as it’s more of a “unique ability”) I’ve grown up with… and that’s what I’m going to dive a bit into. Oh bless cathartic posts.
If you have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), or a child with ADD, or a loved one with ADD… maybe what I will share will help you understand a bit of process or frustration they experience. This is, of course, just my point of view… but you never quite know who may identify with it.
College photography “self portrait”.
There’s a whole lot of “god knows what” going on in that brain/expression.
I grew up with ADD (and no, against popular belief, NOT ADHD), and I probably still have some forms of adult ADD. I do not conceptualize the knowledge around me the way that others might consider “normal” (case in point – the phrasing of that statement), or in a way that the greater populous might understand/identify with.
“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.” – Alber Camus
Before I was diagnosed at age 10 with ADD, I was “not correct”. Weird statement, right? Lemme explain: I didn’t hear things the way they were meant to be, I didn’t understand directions the way they were given, and I didn’t complete tasks the way they were required. Not on purpose, mind you. You know the phrase “reading between the lines” – it was as if I’d read all the wrong parts, heard non-existent intentions, created context unsaid, and imagined another method for an end result (an end result of my own determination). None of these were consciously chosen.
It was very difficult trying SO HARD to be a good student, a good child, a good person when my interpretations were SO far off. Which goes back to – I was incorrect. I’d go as far to say – I was incorrect about 65% – 75% of the time. Not very good odds, and very hard on a mushy child’s brain in the middle of “formation”. And I haven’t even introduced the fact that I was a stubborn force-to-be-reckoned-with, if not “passionate” child.
The “less awesome” things I learned (or adapted to) from having ADD (tough to swallow for the aforementioned child):
- Never immediately trust my (first) instincts,
- The majority of the world is “correct”, and I am not ,
- “At least my failure is well-intentioned”,
- With context and lots of over-explaining, I too can curb my understanding to eventually match everyone else’s!
When I was diagnosed with ADD – it was a bit of a god send. I wasn’t stupid, and I wasn’t lazy (as were mentioned by some twit-teachers). I had something to cling to – an explanation, a CONTEXT of why I wasn’t “correct”. We started seeking alternative methods to help support my learning disability – finding my strengths in the play patterns I naturally gravitated to — STORIES. Me and my world-o-Barbie? Oh man, no Soap Opera could have EVER compared to the epic, dynamic events that I created in my own wee little world.
Nothing was EVER so powerful as the opportunity for fantastical creation by an imaginative child grasping at “reality” straws.
I made my rules, I made the logic, I got to play GOD and I learned what it felt to be CORRECT. Yay for self-contrived self-confidence! (Lol, sure, but its true). Additionally, writing provided me an opportunity to appeal to others with context, emotion, and creative expression – I discovered the existence and the magic of possibility through another perspective. WHAT? Two people can be correct but with different statements? <- strangely, this is a foreign concept to SOME children who end up having to go by structure and set-statements made by others because they were always made to feel inferior, stupid, or incorrect.
It wasn’t until I started taking my creative writing in college seriously that my soul blossomed and life started to FIT. With a little creative logic, I was able to give context and structure to the things in life I was misunderstanding or failing. With story – it was no longer “memorize this word because everyone else understands it”, but facts and information became tools within a larger story that formed a general understanding – one that I created and could identify with (or “understand”).
Things I learned that benefited me long-term:
- Imagination is so powerful in the entertainment world (occupationally speaking, lol)
- Self-deprecation & humor
- The ability to apologize & accept responsibility (this is actually a fault too, as I’m quick to appeal for an apology for things I shouldn’t apologize for… but I prefer to assume responsibility myself, then be accused)
- Mediation (beyond people, but mediation of differing concepts)
- Reading people and treating judgements carefully
- “There’s always another way” – one door closes, there’s probably 12 more down the hallway (if you will).
- Question. Everything. But respect the populous for their structure.
- EMPATHY EMPATHY EMPATHY
The strange result of me HAVING ADD, and me ADAPTING my ADD to the world is that I approach everything with 2 reactions. This can be very tiring, and at times like a thunderstorm of frustration internally. Occasionally one perspective comes swiftly – like a locomotive train, full of tunnel-vision and speedy determination (and if proven wrong… the subsequent reaction is just as powerful with spiraling questions and epic self-doubt), while the other moseys through the devil’s advocate debate of context and understanding like a Sesame Street skit of silly, imaginative rationals [this is near, this is far. Near. Far. See it?]. Also, when the spotlight is on and your knowledge is questions – there’s a certain measure of insecurity and defensiveness that can come through — but that’s not too far off from how the majority of the world feels, I know. The difference is… growing up with ADD, you already know that you’ve been proven to be “wrong”, and you know the world knows you have a greater % of actually successfully being accused as such. Sure that definition of “wrong” changed over the years to a “unique perspective” (empowerment) – but there are times you can never shake that 3rd grade F because you misunderstood the question or the directions.
I’m thankful for a great many things that ADD empowered me with — as it was a fault that increased my talents. But learning how to “overcome” is much like “success” – it’s a path, a roving goal, and rarely a destination. So, maybe I don’t have adult ADD, and maybe I’ve learned how to adapt to certain things in life… but that doesn’t mean that events from childhood ever truly go away. Every action has a change for thousands of reactions… some you don’t see right away, and some you live with every time your feet get nailed to the floor.
Find outlets, support each other, be empathetic, be certain, and be creative – and help others do the same. I think I have to learn a bit more about self-forgiveness, and I would encourage you to do the same for your child who may or may not have ADD. There’s no better way to end a post like this then with one of the BEST quotes of all time, from my person deity – Jim Henson:
“Watch out for each other. Love everyone and forgive everyone, including yourself. Forgive your anger. Forgive your guilt. Your shame. Your sadness. Embrace and open up your love, your joy, your truth, and most especially your heart.”
Fightin Monsters
No, not another rant. Taking a deep breath after that Muppet/Bachelorette tirade I just finished off. It’s never good to shake a finger at a Big Dog in the industry; however, to quote Leslie Knope (Parks & Recreation on NBC): ”If I seem too passionate, it’s because I care. If I come on strong, it’s because I feel strongly. And if I push too hard, it’s because things aren’t moving fast enough.” lol.
Anyway, on to brighter rambles: I thought I’d give ya’ll the heads up (and make it known in blog-form) that I recently joined the team at FightMyMonster.com, and I’m getting back to my hands-on community-roots. I had missed the gaming side of the industry. I love this demographic (tween boys) & general concept/direction (monsters & strategy). As always, there’s a fair share of work to do (again, tween boys are never dull in community/behavior management), but I’m jazzed about it & ready for it (<cracks knuckles>), and the team is awesome (high five to Dylan & Dominic, et all).
With all the due respect in the world for previous employers and contractors, this is the first time I’ve walked into a company that’s already crossed the 1 million user mark BEFORE my arrival on less than a year lifespan & a skeleton crew. And it turns a profit? What? Yes. I’m very impressed with the folks here, and psyched to see what mischief we can get up to in the name of awesome entertainment.
In my tenure, I’ve worked with Virtual Worlds, interactive websites for cartoons/books, MMOs for kids AND adults, and social networks for kids… and now I’ve got interactive strategy game too. It’s a simple site concept, but boys just EAT it up. I’ve never seen anything like it.
I’m excited to see what this company brings – both in entertainment shenanigans and life/career lessons. :D
OH – and by joining this team, I also made a career goal: I was mentioned in a post by Kidscreen (squeeeeee!):
http://kidscreen.com/2012/04/24/fight-my-monster-hires-user-engagement-vp/
Other things for you to check out:
Rant on the Muppets visiting the Bachelorette
Muppets to Crash ‘The Bachelorette’: Sneak Peek
Emily Maynard enlists expert advice from Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.
Dear Parents: Help me help you. Help ME. Help YOU.
So, there’s a LOT of interesting conversation happening lately… or at least I think it’s interesting (lol).
- About COPPA, future plans to COPPA, adherence to COPPA, and the FTC’s role in supporting COPPA.
- Cyberbullying & Cybersex (from the small to medium to high level interactions)
- Site responsibility vs Parent responsibility.
#3 is more or less a conversation that @JoiPod (Joi Podgorny) and I continually have as we develop methods to service our sensitive, bright, clever audience, and their parents (adjectives pending context of situation).
There are TWO ways of approaching the above topics: A) As theory & Industry conversation, B) In practice & actuality.
It’s great to come together and talk about how WE – as adults, participants in youth culture online, responsible citizens, and concerned governing bodies- can build opportunities to help kids succeed. I will ALWAYS be up for that movement / discussion. 
And yet, during my tenure within this industry and all the varieties of platforms I’ve worked with – I have started to recognize a growing movement of response and expectations for responsibility.
And so, I’m going to point my bloggin’ ranty finger at this growing movement. Fair warning, I weave in and out of all sorts of open issues regarding kids online, beyond just COPPA, and often bleed many ideals together (because when you are in the market of “practice”, it’s either you can or can’t…, and that transcends what is defined in the ‘law’, and often leads to the variety of expectations and public assumptions).
Picture this:
Instead of Superman dressing himself as Clark Kent everyday (in his ongoing efforts to protect his identity), now dozens of
Clark, close your shirt... your Superman is showing!
invisible moderators frantically attend to Superman with a mission to keep his secret safe, and a dozen invisible moderation floating through the air, shielding & blocking the public’s vision of Superman (ya know… just in case he’s forgetful or makes a mistake).
COPPA is the only legislation available to protect kids – and it’s centered around identity – NOT appropriate content.
I have always believed that if you HOUSE a site, you have responsibility for maintaining the integrity and safety for that site too. That being said:
- Is individual identity/safety becoming a community responsibility more so than personal responsibility?
- Is it the community’s ultimate responsibility to stop your child from inappropriately engaging another child?
Identity is huge, and kids need to protect themselves as much as sites are expected to. With COPPA – we know that personally identifiable information CANNOT be shared without parental approval. Ok… so that’s step one, but you and I both know, that is NOT the only expectation out there, and nor sure it be.
Extreme cyberbullying often happens when real identities are exposed online (whether usernames are shared offline or real names/contact information shared online). It also exists with inappropriate language, or just simple rudeness (you’d be surprised how simple it is to bully someone with non-aggressive, non-obvious words). So, now we have to be prepared for: privacy issues, cyberbullying, and explicit attempts at communication. (I’m not complaining, mind you!)
If I (as a site operator) set up rules and tools and back-up policies… and a child STILL tests the system with work-arounds – how far down the line will sites be held responsible for rule-breakers? Best policy suggests actions to the account (suspension or ban, access loss to features, etc), and best policy suggests that sites notify, learn, and improve systems.
Cyber-education is available ACROSS the net (there’s maybe a couple hundred organizations dedicated to cyberbullying awareness on Twitter alone). Here’s my question: when does the public’s engagement with cyber-education happen? When should it happen? And why does it feel like cyber-education only receives attention when negative things happen?
Ultimately – there is a growing need for responsibility to be taken within the home – and responsibility to be explained to the child. How do we help educate and involve all the parties (like families, schools, extended families, friends, individuals) WITHOUT having to change a website’s business-model?
This has been an open conversation for a LONG time now, and it’s a rather sensitive topic as NO ADULT who loves his/her child wants to be called out for a possible issue or failure (failure being a rather strong word, my apologies).
Our industry’s endless enigma: How to involve parents who don’t have time to be involved.
Not all garbage comes in a can... It's your business to secure your CRAP 
("Check yourself before you wreck yourself" - Ice Cube)
Look – please don’t shoot the messenger here, Parents. Momma Bear has claws and Poppa Bear bites… I know that (I was a ref for toddler soccer for 2 years in college… if you have EVER been a ref or a coach – you know what I’m referring to here). I respect the amount parents have on their plate! That being said, I ask you to talk to ANYONE who deals with kids online, and you’ll get the same response… the majority of parents only involved if something negative happens (and then it’s typically an aggressive conversation of blame with the site).
My fear: Does this mean that the government has to step in and point a greater finger of responsibility to sites? Is that what will happen with the expectations of a new COPPA? States are adding new Cyberbullying rules – are those rules going to bleed into COPPA, and therefore introduce new enforcement responsibilities or expectations on sites?
I know parents need help, they can’t possibly have eyes EVERYWHERE. Most of us in the industry want parents to expect nothing but happiness and rainbows and fun and friends, etc, within our kids websites/games. Safety reassurance is almost always a part of the business model. And industry people like me? WE ARE TRYING EVERY SINGLE DAY TO PROTECT YOUR KIDS, and often succeeding. However, new slang happens by the moment, and a minxy tween exploring language/sexuality/peer competition, etc, will do what they need to in order to surpass the mandated boundaries blocking them from their goal.
The more blocks, the higher the frustration, the more determination to get a result. Such actions = more pressure on a business, and more money spent on scaling/tools, and a greater difficulty for success which affects the audience, business, and general site entertainment. Let me reiterate another way:
- The more obstacles put on a business directed to children now will result in…
- A decrease in businesses directed to children later while will result in…
- More young kids involved in 13+/adult sites that do not have “Best practices” or “Good policy” or even “COPPA”.
We know there are a GREAT amount of kids who lied about their age to join sites like Facebook, Formspring, Foursquare (with their fancy smartphones), and Twitter.
So, as COPPA gets its make-over, and as this nation of helicopter parents grows, and kids make privacy/identity mistakes or keep attempting boneheaded social interactions… how do we aim for online success for youth without building landmines & sinking traps?
Help me, help you? Help me, help you…. Seriously. Let’s tackle this together.
How about instead of "Show me the money!" we go with "Show me the united front for taking responsibility in protecting and educating kids across the net!" ...What, not catchy? Oh, Beans.
Add your thoughts at the beep… be they charged, devil’s advocate, sympathetic, or requesting more context. I’m really interested in this as an exploration conversation.
